Conscientious Objector

The idea popped into my head today.  Though it's uncommon, the Navy can approve a request for discharge based on a sincere change in one's beliefs.  Correct me if I'm wrong here, but considering the fact that my service in the military goes against everything I believe, I think it applies my situation.  I talked with my husband, and he agreed that it would be a good idea to talk with the Chaplain to see what options might be available to me.  If it went through and got approved, I could be discharged several years earlier than my original contract dictates and I would finally be able to prioritize raising my son and taking care of my family and household.

BUT...
There's a 'but.'  There's always a 'but.'

I am also acutely aware that I did make a commitment.  I promised to defend my country and fulfill the duties assigned to me.  As a Christian, how can I go back on a promise just because it makes my life more difficult? Is it possible that this might be the place where God wants me to be?

My husband and I agreed that the only sensible thing to do in this situation, since it is something that seriously affects our lives and our family, is to spend a day fasting and praying for guidance.  Any advice is greatly appreciated and will be prayerfully considered, but I think this is a decision that ultimately needs to be left up to God.

Please pray for us.

--Birdie

Too Many Questions

I think too much.  It drives my husband crazy.

This is not to say that my husband is not an intelligent man (he is) but I suppose it might be a little jarring when in the middle of watching VeggieTales, I suddenly dive headfirst into a deep discussion about theological semantics.   Sometimes I wonder if I've got a few Berean genes in me somewhere -- I have an almost insatiable appetite for asking questions, and the ones that can be answered by simply opening a Bible just don't cut it for me.

Here's a perfect example:
Train of Thought #1: The Bible says that a woman is to submit to her husband.  My assumption is that this means she is to submit to his leadership and decision-making.  I guess this makes sense; if a husband is going out to work hard and bring home a livelihood for his family, then his wife should be a helpmeet to keep the household running smoothly and raise the next generation properly.  Seems pretty simple.

Train of Thought #2: But wait -- why, exactly, is a man biologically ordained to be in a position of leadership?  Why can't it be the other way around?  Why can't a husband stay home with the kids and housework while his wife goes out and has a career?  Even if a man is working only in order to provide for his family, he still has more options than his wife.  He, at least, can choose a vocation he enjoys.  That doesn't seem fair.


My dear husband, through no fault of his own, is of little help.  He's just as new to this as I am, and trying to assume a traditional Godly-husband-type role while figuring out his own convictions gets a little overwhelming for him.  Even more difficult is the fact that I have few other sources of discourse and advice -- my own mother (whom I adore) is a staunch feminist, and finding a tradition-adhering Bible-believing woman in my line of work is like finding a needle in a haystack.

You got advice?  I'll take it.

Hope Floats

According to Google Maps, it's about six hundred miles from Augusta, Georgia to Baltimore, Maryland.  That's a ten hour drive -- longer if you stop to go to the bathroom.

For the last year, this is what my marriage has had to contend with.

Since we both work in a relatively specialized job in the Navy, there are only a handful of places we can go -- and unfortunately, our jobs are just different enough that we ended up stuck where we are now.  So every weekend, my amazingly devoted husband spends half of his free time driving ten hours to my house in Georgia and the other half helping me take care of our infant son.  We get to see each other, total, about a week out of every month.  Needless to say that it puts a tremendous strain on our marriage (and for that matter, our sanity).  Sure, we can request to get stationed together, but that requires a lot of time and jumping through a lot of hoops, and in the end the needs of our family still have to be compatible with the needs of the Navy.

But I don't intend for this to turn into a rant about the problems I have with the military.  In fact, it's just the opposite.

A few days ago I was contacted at work by a sailor in Fort Meade (where my husband works).  She was interested in getting stationed in Fort Gordon (where I work), but there weren't any jobs currently open.  So she did a little investigating and found out that the Navy has the option of a duty swap -- simply put, it's an option for two equally-qualified sailors to trade jobs without all the fuss of creating new orders.  She had spoken with my husband a while back and heard of our situation, so might I be interested in looking into the possibility of trading duty stations with her?

It took a great deal of self-control (read: strenuous physical exertion) to maintain some semblance of military bearing and not start babbling like a giddy fool over the phone.

Yes, I managed calmly after several deep breaths, I would be very, very, VERY interested.

There were, of course, a few caveats: the request has to be submitted to our respective Commanding Officers for approval, and if they do get approved, it's not quite like a regular Permanent Change of Station in which time and expenses are reimbursed -- all traveling and moving expenses have to come out of our own pockets, and we will have to take personal leave to get to our new duty stations.

But all of that seems like only a minor inconvenience compared to the possibility that we could be living together as a family by the end of this year.

Please, please, please pray for us.

--Birdie

Prelude

I've never been very good at introductions, so I'll just jump in feet-first.

I'm 24 years old, turning 25 this year.  I grew up in Pittsburgh, moved to Milwaukee when I was 21, spent a year and a half in Monterey, California, and have lived in Augusta, Georgia since April of last year.  Aside from the Chernobyl-sized bugs*, I could happily spend the rest of my life here.  At the end of this month I will celebrate my first anniversary of being married to a devoted, kind, intelligent, and side-splittingly funny man who I met in California (even though he's from North Dakota).  I own and adore a little ginger pound-mutt named Maybelline (so named for the kohl around her lovely black eyes) and I am a mother to the most stunningly beautiful blue-eyed, flaxen-haired two-month-old boy in the known universe -- not that I'm biased or anything.  My dreams for the future include homeschooling and keeping a beautiful home for my family... which is something I never in a million years thought I would say.

See, the birth of my Little Lion Man somehow coincided with everything I had ever believed being turned completely upside down.  This obstinate feminist (who certainly didn't need a patriarchal God harshing her mellow, thankyouverymuch) suddenly developed a hardcore infatuation with the Holy Spirit -- and I went from socialist to conservative, God-mocking to God-fearing, feminist to feminine-ist.

Unfortunately, this all happened at a rather inconvenient time -- despite my desires to be a homemaker and child-raiser, I am also currently stuck in the middle of a six-year contract with the United States Navy and stationed about 550 miles away from my husband for the foreseeable future.  Needless to say that this has been a source of many tears, much prayer, and several bottles of extra-strength Tums.  But the great joyful irony is that the God who came in and turned my life upside-down is the same God who will help me put it right-side-up again.

And maybe, with His help, I'll keep this old ship afloat yet.

I hope you'll stick around.

-- Birdie

*Seriously.  I have never seen bugs this big in my life.  Last night there was a cockroach the size of a silver dollar in my living room -- I sprayed it with Raid and I'm pretty sure it turned around and laughed at me.